Especially when we have a long list of to do items, or a mountainous goal ahead of us, it can be so difficult to know what to do next.
The worst thing to do is to force it, making yourself miserable simply to please your conscience; because, if you make a habit of it, you will be living a life for other people, one of frustration and discontent; pretending everything is fine on the surface, although deep down you may want to hide under the blankets and cry. I have been there, and I will tell you from experience that, sooner or later, you will break down. That’s okay, though; at this point, you are finally starting to be honest with yourself.
The other end of the spectrum, when you are looking down the road unsure of what to do next, is to run away from it all with a kind of forget it, to hell with it attitude. You can numb it with substance, such as alcohol or food, as many of us have and do; or, you can sit back and distract yourself with other things, like TV, and even books and music. Again, I know from experience what will happen: The whole thing will come breathing down the back of your neck, biting and clawing at you in a fury. As a result of ignorance, you may still find yourself hiding under the sheets, hoping that over time all the lying and cheating will pass you by and go unnoticed.
It is unhealthy to ignore or to run from our fears. We all have them, and will continue to have them as we change and grow over the course of our lives. Additionally, our to-do list is never ending; as soon as we mark one item off the list another appears. We must simply be when we find ourselves in these troubling times. That’s not to say that you can’t get advice or help. But, at the end of the day, you have to sleep with yourself, and your nightmares know your hiding place. Soon you will be alone, with nowhere to run; and it is here, in this moment of fear and anxiety, or when you feel helpless with no direction, this is when you must sit with yourself and cultivate a deep presence.
We must relax and love ourselves. We are who we are. Our fears, anxieties, desires, quirks, all are a part of who we are, and we must be true to them. Once we are true to ourselves, our minds, guided by our breath, sail through the moment. Whether the seas are calm or stormy, we are on this ship in this ocean.
Intuition then, not fear, is our guiding light, our beacon of hope.