The most difficult thing is the decision; the decision to push send, the decision to speak up, the decision to take the first step, the decision to sit down for 10 minutes and breathe. As difficult as it can be, once we make a decision it starts a cascading effect, momentum takes hold, and it’s time for the ride. The joyous ride of freedom and openness. Until we come upon another decision.
The moment you realize you have a decision to make, especially if it seems difficult – a damned if you do, damned if you don’t kind of thing – there arises a great tension. Whether in your gut, a heartache or a headache, the apprehension or anxiety always expresses itself in a physical way. Then, the calculating begins. “If this, then that. What if…? Then what?” Tighter and tighter, the noose becomes as you writhe your body through the projections and potential outcomes that probably won’t happen:
“For example, suppose you knew the future, and could control it perfectly. What would you do? You would say, ‘Let’s shuffle the deck and have another deal.’” – Alan Watts, “The Images of Man”
Some people avoid these moments altogether; others freeze cold, stock still, mummified; but, a select few thrive. Because the select know difficult decisions indicate a life lived on the edge. It’s different for everyone; a cliff is the edge for some, for others it’s the couch. Wherever a person’s edge is, he or she should live there, relaxing and loving into it. It could be the decision to go to war, or to love again; to take a walk, or say hello to a stranger. The magnitude is nothing compared to the intention to grow and inch outside the comfort zone.
“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” – Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within
The magic happens as soon as the feeling of freedom takes over, releasing the tension and hardship. We hear the music of life again, our new favorite song. We see, with depth and clarity, that all we had to do was lean out and open up. Living at our edge, we have things to talk about with others once again. Life begins to feel fulfilling, righteous. We want to share more, do more, help more, and live more.
Freedom lies out there. The unknown. The wonder.
And then, we find we have another decision to make. We are confined once again by our own doing and fear. Calculate, contemplate, dither as long as you must, but, eventually, take the leap!